Am I a hypocrite? Is there a double standard in our relationship? The provided image is a painting that's part of a series entitled "Respect! The Woman In The Red Dress." More details about the exhibition can be seen @ thekre8iveshop.com/reddress. This painting is entitled "Food for Thought." The basis of this series is about finding alignment in any type of relationship. Now you may be wondering what "alignment" means. When I say "alignment," I mean to become balanced or see eye-to-eye with someone. While creating this art series and promoting alignment in relationships, I realized that I would be a hypocrite if I didn't practice what I preached. I became unaligned with someone, and I feel that situation can be worked out.
When two people set on different paths find themselves crossing each other on the journey of love, a black American-born man who's a lover of all black culture encounters a Nigerian-born woman who treasures her heritage. They meet during the most chaotic time in both their lives. COVID-19 has plagued our communities and has made it incredibly hard to date. But these two love-seekers managed to bypass the hardship of the plague and found a way to date. Now you are likely reading this and thinking, What went wrong? What happened? What did he do to her?
"To truly love we must learn to mix various ingredients — care, affection, recognition, respect, commitment, and trust, as well as honest and open communication." — bell hooks
As mentioned before, is there a double standard in our relationship? A double-standard is defined as a rule or principle unfairly applied in different ways to different people or groups. Sometimes we set standards for people and expect them to meet those expectations without ever making those standards known to that person. As a case in point, the woman set a standard of commitment on the first date. She had a different take on dating and courtship than he had. She believes it doesn't take a person a long time to recognize what they want. When you identify what you want, you don't wait for it; you commit to it. Therefore, she expected him to make that commitment. She and he had been talking for weeks, and this level of commitment was never discussed. He saw this straightforwardness as a command and was turned off by it. However, he reflected on her statements and had to accept the cultural differences between the two of them. Now the two that were seemingly aligned are starting to become unbalanced.
He understands the cultural differences between the two of them. Which led to him creating healthy dialog to help her understand that patience is necessary. But this level of patience would prove to be disastrous in the end. Her demands resulted in him wanting to spend time with her, which she didn't have. You have to be available to be viable. This would later result in a heated argument when expectations were not fulfilled. The two people that became aligned are now out of order, which leads to their falling out.
"We can improve our relationships with others by leaps and bounds if we become encouragers instead of critics." — Joyce Meyer
At the beginning of the article, I wondered if I was a hypocrite. Which is defined as someone who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings. After creating this art series, it made me dig deeper into my encounters and situations. I realized if I didn't address my issues, then I am a hypocrite. This caused me to reach back out to her to see if we could address the issues. Nearly five months have passed since our fallout, and neither one of us remembers what went wrong. We were able to move past our issues, and we later laughed at our previous problems while having dinner.
Now that's true "Food for Thought."
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Davion " Dismoc Le Ma " Coleman
– Chief Editor Artist | Designer | Illustrator | Author
– The Creator of The Kre8ive Shop