Updated: Dec 21, 2021
In 2001, I came across a beautiful rose that could outsing the birds. We had amazing chemistry and after three months of dating, I saw a bright future with her. I saw her as my wife and as the mother to my children. She was an amazing dancer and an incredible vocalist. We met at an open mic in Philly, and she blew me away the first time I heard her sing. However, as the old saying goes, “All, that glitters is not gold.”
I often get asked about my experience dating an artist, some people have an assumption that artists are hard to deal with. It’s the complete opposite, they are some of the most down-to-earth level-headed people I’ve ever met. Now they’re some that I find slightly odd, but I respect their creative expression. It’s easy for me to relate to them, now the people that know me are probably wondering how? The people that know me, know I grew up as a tech geek and my background is in computer science. But what they don’t know is my grandfather was a jazz player. My grandfather played five instruments. So I learned from an early age to appreciate and value art.
The positives of dating an artist are their passion, drive, free thinkers, flexibility, and you’ll become their greatest muse. My woman was all of that plus more multiplied by three. She was a beautiful soul and as I often hear the young brother Davion Coleman say, “a Creative. ”Which he defines as an individual that has multiple talents in the field of art. She was a dancer, singer, poet, actress, and a great girlfriend for the first five years. However, everybody has flaws; nobody in the world is perfect.
After supporting her dreams traveling back and forth to New York, Philly and LA, five amazing years had passed. After those five years became some of the worst moments I’ve ever experienced being in a relationship. Once I graduated from Temple University and began to get settled into my career, my connection with her started to fade. I began to realize all the traveling and all the performing isn’t leading anywhere. So I asked her about her goals and where she saw herself in the next ten years. All she could say was, “On the road performing.” Then I suddenly realized this is not the same woman I fell in love with five years ago. I felt that she has become complacent and was content with me funding her career. Within the next three years, I help her find a manager and tried to help get her a recording deal. All of those things fell through, unfortunately. Once the recording deal fell through led to six months of arguments which she had enough of. She was fed up and our relationship ended. Deep down inside I felt relieved, I wasn’t sad or mad but I was at peace.
While being single and dating I came across a photographer. When I met her, I had my reserves but I soon realized she was completely different from my ex. This woman was a photography professor at a local college; she was a contract photographer at a local newspaper and she owned her own photography company. It was a refreshing start to something promising. Unfortunately, career advancement leads me to leave Philly for Atlanta, GA, and we both agreed that a long-distance would not work for us.
My ex and I spent eight and a half years together and now we are just cordial. She decided to take her talents to the UK which she was performing with different bands and was working part-time as a bartender. During our relationship, I often told her to be a music teacher or a vocalist coach as a way to make money. She always declined it but last year she moved back to Philly and is now in school for Audio Engineering. The photographer and I are great friends and she is doing amazing things in her career. After over eleven years of being broken up, I was able to find my queen which she blessed me with three beautiful boys whom we are raising in Atlanta, GA.
My experience with dating artists was a pleasant roller-coaster ride. It was a ride that lead me right to my wife. She comes from an artistic background, her mother was a choir director, her grandfather was a stained glass artist. So I can honestly say that art leads me to my muse...
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Jabari Knight – Guest Writer